An Elegant Sufficiency

View Original

Pivot turns

Not a dance move but one of those moments that comes out of the blue, opens up an interesting opportunity and demands an instant response. My usual reaction is to say “Yes” first and only later wonder why.

I just looked in my diary and see that the first pivot turn came on the 3 January when the phone rang late in the afternoon. A TV producer was looking for a craft judge and had called the WI for suggestions. I agreed for my details to be shared and as I blogged about paperwhites, finishing my Christmas journal and made a few Chinese lanterns I began a conversation with the TV company. I have done a little TV work before - I recorded a short series for the old Sky Learning Channel, had a brief appearance on The One Show and a similarly brief spot with the Hairy Bikers. I know it’s not glamorous in the slightest and I knew too that where any media company is concerned, everyone is expected to dance to their tune (metaphorically speaking!) Though I found the concept fascinating and felt somewhat excited by the prospect of being involved in this new project, I also reminded myself of things just like this that have come to nought.

Still, that evening I remarked that I’d woken up to a normal day and a single phone call had given me quite a lot to think about. In the next couple of days, I had more than an hour on the phone with the producer, followed by another hour in a Skype video call which she recorded and sent to the commissioning TV channel for approval. “Don’t hold your breath” I thought.

But then another call came and then an email. When was I free for a screen test?

Not for a week or more, that was sure and as we enjoyed our little jolly to Jordan I didn’t really think much more about it. I had a date in my diary towards the end of January and plenty of time to worry about it later.

No need to worry though, because it was cancelled - the other potential judge had dropped out. I knew time was pressing and had “end of February, early March” in my mind from those original conversations. I got on with making baskets and watched the snow fall, feeling thankful that I didn’t have to trek to some unknown location in uncertain weather conditions.

All went quiet again until a call came in early February to rearrange the screen test. Meanwhile, I was doing what I do - fiddling about at home with paint and paper, getting on with my life and worrying about what I was going to wear! As the days passed however, my diary was filling up and I was wondering if I ought to consider leaving those “late February/early March” days free - but I filled them anyway, thinking that maybe I’d just have to cancel.

I already blogged about the day of the screen test when my incredibly detailed instructions took me to a rather different kind of studio than the one I’d been anticipating! As always in such things, it’s in everyone’s interest to make sure all goes smoothly and I was really well taken care of throughout. I had a fun experience and I did what I do confidently - the biggest challenge was to not trip over all the stuff, because there really wasn’t much space.

Since then, the week has passed. I’ve been busy as usual with a full diary and plenty to get on with, but I was conscious of the date - we were already into “late February” and I hadn’t heard anything more. As each day came and went, I began to wish they’d stop messing about and as I put another appointment in my diary for the first week of March, I started to feel irritated. I knew that if they did want me to do something, they’d expect me to be available, full stop. And yet I was unwilling to put my life on hold “in case”.

The second pivot turn came in the form of a phone call late yesterday afternoon. The producer rang to say they’d decided to go with someone else. Surprisingly, that decision came as somewhat of a relief. I no longer need worry about what I am going to wear, I can relax and plan time with friends without second guessing when they’re going to expect me to be available and I can maintain my comparative anonymity without all the trappings of stardom. (Ha!)

When I watch the programme later in the year though, I wonder if I’ll agree with the judge?